ETC 2013ETC 2013 took place on Saturday the 17th and Sunday the 18th August. Mad for Miniatures took 2 teams of four to the event, with the aim to kick asses and take names.
The drive upWas hell. Marcus was desperate to test his partner’s Grand Vitara’s cruise control, but this was impossible in the stop start traffic along the entire A30, M5 and M6. 9 hours later, we arrived in Stockport.
Claire & Rich experienced catastrophic clutch meltdown with 50 miles to go, and had to return home. At the hotel’s overpriced Beefeater, we emailed the ETC team asking for two replacements for Team Kernow Machine. Massive credit to the management, they found us a replacement within an hour (the chef and manager of the gaming venue).
The venueWe arrived at 9am. Everyone unpacked whilst I feverishly shopped for, and assembled a Fell Caller Hero, as I was due to borrow one from Claire. There was enough space between tables to be comfortable, and the venue was well ventilated. Tables had high quality scenery, and was not over decorated as tournaments often can be.
Lunch was provided at a reasonable price, and was chips, burgers, hotdogs etc. Very tasty, and when some chips were cold on Saturday, and one who had bought chips that day got a freebie the day after.
Round 1 – Close QuartersTeam MFM played off against team Bex, as this was the first round, pairings were random. Marcus was assigned the ciritcal table, so in a draw, his result would be the decider.
Mike chose to play epic Madrak against a Rasheth list. Due to an inability to roll 5’s or 6’s on tough rolls, his army got shredded, and he lost with 0 CP. Marcus chose to field pIrusk vs Menoth. Darren took lady Skarre against a Ret army, whilst Rich Deane had a bizarre Kraye vs Kraye dual. Darren won his match with 5 CP, Richard won with 3 CP. This meant that we were up 2:1, and it would all come down to Marcus. After a long wait, he was victorious, when his opponent ran out of time on the deathclock. Team MFM was victorious! Team Kernow Machine also pulled out a good win.
Round 2 - IncursionOn a high now, we moved tables. Mike played his pDoomie list vs eSorsha, Richard chose pCaine to take on a Skorne army, Marcus fielded Harkevich against eDoomie, and Darren played on the Critical Table against Hex (Skorne).
Mike once again wondered if Tough was just a fleeting dream, as Sorscha hosed his entire force, but gained a nice 2 CP this time. Darren pulled off a nice win hex with his skarre list, and Marcus lost on CP. With the Critical Table in our favour, we waited on Richard, needing a win. Unfortunately Richard received a Kovaas to the face, and we went 1:1. Steve’s team once again pull a win out of the bag, and go 2:0.
Round 3 – DestructionAny optimism about Round 2 being a one off loss were quicky quashed, as Jamie Perkins appeared out of the mist flanked by Vayl and co.
Darren played off against the aforementioned Vayl list, Marcus put Irusk up against eHaley. I’m not sure what Richard faced, but I came up against a Circle player running Cassius.
Darren was destroyed by Jamie, Marcus left the eHaley match feeling very despondent, and wondering what would have happened if he had been allowed to play the game. Richard suffered a loss too.
Special mention, I feel, is required here. Trolls vs Cassius turned out to be the worst matchup in the known universe. Two unsits of Farrow with reach Grevous wounds meant that nothing that he hit got tough rolls. Cassius’s two trees meant that anything near them lost tough (and of course there was always one in the middle of my stuff during his turns). The result was never in doubt. I was clever (I thought). Knowing the stones would prevent me blocking access to the zone, I threw my entire force into the box, so there was no room to place a small based model. Then I was informed that Monoliths contest objectives, something I never knew. Balls.
Coupled with hearing that Team Kernow Machine lost 2:2, we left the venue feeling very unhappy with the last game of the day.
The evening’s funMarcus had a tip off that the local Tandoori delivered weapons grade Kebabs, and this was not a disappointment. All rather full on cheap, quality lamb, we threw down and played cards.
Our version of Cheat, with appropriate swearwords in place of the word Cheat was funny every game. We often were able to call Cheat before Steve had even placed a card due to the panicked look on his face when he couldn’t make a legal move.
Uno was even funnier, after declaring that he would win one game then go to bed, we spent over two hours screwing Andrew game after game.
We went to bed very much happier than when we had left the gaming venue (although I have picked up a bruise on my ankle from where someone kicked me during the night).
Round 4 - Process of EliminationWe re-joined the tournament just before it resumed, determined to improve our lot.
Marcus played off Irusk vs Kreoss, Darren played Skarre against pKreuger and had the critical table. Richard fielded his Nemo list against Ossyan, and I put Madrak against Makaeda.
Now armed with the knowledge that Monoliths can contest, I capped off both and picked up 4CP. On the third turn, I had the chance to pick up 4CP and win the game, but I left a Titan on 3 boxes (GRRRRRRRRRR). I narrowly lost this one when Molik Karn capped off Madrak (he survived 2 turns of being hit by beasties the little trooper!) Nemo shot Ossyan in the face after his opponent’s failed assassination run. Marcus’s opponent made him so angry he screamed in rage and made me jump a mile. Darren won on his table, and we took the win. Steve’s team picked up a victory too. We were back on form!
Round 5 – Into the BreachI put eMaddy up against cat and mousey Vayl, Richard faced pDeneghra, Darren played a Circle list and Marcus fielded Irusk against Menoth.
I threw my army into the big circle. My opponent killed a few things, and to my surprise used Cat and Mouse to retreat every single model. He hadn’t seen I had my caster in the zone, and dropped 2 CP immediately. I consolidated, and ran axer, Mauler and a few grunts into his army to engage. I then moved Madrak up, and surrounded him with fennblades. I was now on 4CP.
My opponent then moved three beasts into the zone to contest, and hosed most of my units and both beasts. My remaining fennblades were unable to kill three beasts, so I ran Madrak over to the flag, as I would have dominated for the game. I was half an inch short! Lanyssa and a Nephalim then shot poor Madrak to death. If I had been cleverer, I would probably have moved Madrak 3 inches to the right, still in the zone but unreachable, and then ran over to the flag the turn after.
Darren lost his match against a rather disingenuous player much to his disgust. Richard won, and we sat waiting for Marcus to win. His would be the deciding game. His opponent was very nasty, measuring Marcus’s moves to the millimetre, but overestimating his own distances quite happily. Eventually though, Feora took a conquest fist to the face, and we won our third game. Team KM also gets a big win, and is looking good on four victories.
The PresentationsAfter a long but necessary wait while the management guys made absolutely certain that the results were correct, we quieted down for the results.
There was a painting award. Four runners up each received an “extreme” model, and the winner got a very VERY rare resin Juggernaut. At this point, we pointed out very forcefully to Marcus that if he would get his finger out, that Juggernaut would be in his collection.
The top three each got a trophy for every team member. IN addition to this, third place got a 25pt army each, second got a 35pt army, and the winners each got a 50pt army. There was also a wooden spoon each for the losing team, and a mega spoon of shame for the worst player individually (you’ll never know how greatful I was when my name was NOT called out).
It should be pointed out that all ticket money was swallowed up by Maelstrom when they went bust, which means that the tournament venue provided every single prize for free.
Overall, Team KM came 7th, team MFM came 13th. There were 29 teams.
Steve Phillimore won 5 of 5 Andrew Phillimore went 3 – 2. Darren went 3 – 2, Marcus went 2 – 3, Richard went 3 – 2, and Mike went 0 – 5.
We then left, and got home 2 hours faster than the trip up.
Lessons Learned.Marcus – Jacks with no movement CAN walk. Paint your damn army! Harkevich HATES eDoomie.
Darren – Some players cheat.
Richard – Deathclock matters
Mike – Don’t take a faction you haven’t touched for 18 months to a major tournament. If you have to dust them, don’t take them.
Steve – You can go 5 & 0 at a major national with Skorne. Therefore, don’t use Cygnar.
Andrew – People you know and trust implicitly will screw you repeatedly at UNO when it’s 1 am.
And finally…A million thank you’s to the team who “rescued” the ETC. It was very obviously player led rather than organised by a shop who like to have a lot of profit. The NorthWest Gaming Centre is an excellent venue, with a very kind owner.
We fully expect next years ETC to be completely awesome, based on how amazing this one was with such a short organisation time.